In This Issue...

• Introduction
• Feature Article
• What's New
• Feedback from Readers

Welcome Everyone!

As a child, you sure did learn a lot of stuff in school, didn’t you? Undoubtedly, some of these things had value, but other things you worked so hard to memorize probably fell out of your head as soon as the ink dried on your final exam!

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if included in your course curriculums were classes about cultivating self-awareness, communication skills…the real nuts and bolts that could actually increase the chances of creating successful relationships?

In that spirit, here are some thoughts about what a course on relationships might include. By no means is this meant to be a definitive guide, but my hope is that it will provide food for thinking and positive change.

Feature Article

Relationships 101

Lesson 1: You teach people how to treat you.

This has got to be the most fundamental lesson of any relationship course because it reminds you that ultimately, you have choice and power. Too many people spend too much time feeling like they are victims of their relationships rather than realizing that they have an awful lot to do with what it is they experience.

Lesson 2: You teach people how to treat you in two primary ways:

1. By what you communicate to others;
2. By your relationship with yourself.

Let’s look at Part 1 of this lesson first. How many of you assume that those closest to you should know what it is you want or need? How many of you have thought,

“If he/she really loved me, he/she would know I need a hug/am tired/don’t feel like talking/had a hard day at work/_______________(fill in the blank…).

And yet, the truth is that there is no link between love and mind reading. As a responsible person, it really is your responsibility to communicate what is true for you. This means that it’s your job to tell the other person, specifically, how you feel, what you want, and how you want things to be. Otherwise, you just end up imagining a whole lot of stories, the majority of which have nothing to do with what is really going on.

Part 2 of this lesson addresses how you set the bar for how others treat you. For example, when you are supportive and compassionate to yourself, you are in essence communicating to the world, “I deserve to be treated well!” Rather than treating yourself poorly and hoping someone will rescue you—which never, ever works by the way—you set the standard and over time, people respond in kind. Unfortunately, this lesson also works in reverse: when you treat yourself poorly, more often than not, others do as well.

What’s next? Relationship 201 of course! Stay tuned for my next newsletter when I’ll take a closer look at what your present relationships say about you, and how to make changes if you don’t like what you’re hearing!

Until next time…
Be well!
Marina

What's New

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a powerful technique that heals trauma and optimizes well-being. Issues such as depression, pain, anxiety, grief, relationship issues, even personal coaching, respond beautifully to EMDR therapy. As a certified EMDR practitioner, I am truly energized by the breakthroughs and healings I get to witness in my clients virtually every day. I feel grateful to be a contributing author in the textbook for clinicians, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing: Special Populations.

My book, I am More Than My Infertility: 7 Proven Tools for Turning a Life Crisis into a Personal Breakthrough, is available through www.amazon.com. These tools are universal and timeless, and can apply to any crisis or life challenge.

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